The other day I was in my church at home and heard a man
telling the story of watching a girl being rescued from the sex trade. The men
on the rescue team had been visiting her and two other girls for several nights
in order to build relationships enough to take them from the brothel to a safe
house. He told us about how when the prostitute saw the man that was safe she
ran over and grabbed his arm…and not in the way that the other prostitutes were
draping themselves on men in order to find love and money. This girl was
different because she knew that this man loved her in a different way, he saw
her value and didn’t intend to use her and then leave her.
People have asked me about why I want to work with abused
people: prostitutes, battered women and trafficked people; and I have never really
had an answer. However as I sat and listened to this story I realized the
reason: I have a calling to work with
this population because I relate to them.
Ever since I was a child I have found myself fighting for
attention. I want to be noticed and my greatest fear is being unwanted or
forgotten. My life is so often a mess of my throwing myself at relationships
and things that I feel will give me purpose. I attempt to find love and meaning
in my business and in what other people see me as. Just like how a prostitute throws
herself at men who will use her and leave her, I tend to try to find meaning in
all the wrong places. I want to be loved and noticed so I get involved in
things that give me meaning and satisfy my heart in the short term. But every
time I get to the point where I see my net fall through and I land in a heap on
the floor again, confused and hurt…eyes stinging with the tears of abandonment.
I need to learn that just like these girls that I want to
save I need to be saved from my helpless heart. I need to learn to lean on him
as opposed to all the promises of the world. Christ loves me for who and how I
am.
He longs to have me run to him and cling to him, knowing
that I am safe and secure in his arms and that he sees me as one full of
beauty, grace and worth.
I am wanted for so much more than my abilities.
I am wanted for more than my commitment.
I am wanted for more than what I have to give.
I am wanted because I am alive.
I have been loved to bring love, I’ve been invited to share
the invitation and I have been changed to bring change…and I refuse to quit
until others have learned how deeply, truly and passionately they are loved.
