Golden Days

“Breathe it in, but then let it go by.

This life was meant to pass,

These days were meant to fly.”

-JL

This summer I’ve been really pulled toward Ecclesiastes and the idea of life being a fleeting moment and how everything is vanity; not vanity in the sense of looking at a mirror, but in the sense that life won’t last. This realization can make us live in fear or regret of messing up the chance that we have, or it can set us free.

When we realize that life is meant to go by us, that we aren’t meant to keep all the golden things forever, we see how precious they really are. A wonderful character on The Office, Andy Bernard, put it the best when he said, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve left them.”

And the good news for Andy is that there is. Each day from Christ is a golden one, a gift of grace that we should never assume. So our calling, our job, is to find each sparkling moment in the day and trap it. The fact that we don’t get to hold that moment forever makes it unique and exclusive. Eternity will be beyond our craziest hopes, but for now we have an opportunity to live in this world and take in the entire splendor it has to offer. The fact that we will never be our same exact age or at the same stage in relationships or education than we currently are is a terrifying and glorious gift that we have to embrace and then learn to let go. The fragility creates the magnificence.

As I sit here writing in my bed, all curled into my blankets and listening to my favorite band on vinyl I am overwhelmed with the realization that even though my days are simple lately they are still beautiful. Each day is filled with grace and so we only need to learn to look for God if we want to see him work. Whether your day is spent in an office, on a beach, in a bustling city or a sweeping countryside it is filled with purpose.

I think back to the last day of school this year when my dear friend Heather sang “You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins and made Mary Ann, Amanda and I all howl in protest and start to cry (guys. saddest song of my life when you are about to say goodbye…I do not recommend listening to it in such an emotionally vulnerable moment.) But it made me cherish those last few hours with them so much more and go into my summer knowing that the good ole days are now.

As I look ahead at my future (I just got engaged y’all!!!) I am overwhelmed with the calling to make the most of these days. College, my young siblings, traveling to Europe, planning my wedding and summer break are all things that I will miss desperately one day, and so I want to take joy in each moment I am given, and then be strong enough to let go and know that better moments are ahead. As the wonderful Robert Frost put it:

Nature’s first green is gold.

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower.

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief.

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.