Like An Avalanche

When I prayed several months ago that God would break my heart into the person he wanted me to be I didn’t realize what course that would take. I meant it when I said it, but soon after wanted to run away, crying that I had changed my mind. I have learned a lot in the past few months but the one of most obvious and shaking lessons has been that life is short and loss is real.

Life is short. Loss is real.

We are not guaranteed that our relationships will last, that the people we love will always love us back or that we can always have things work how we hope they will. People die; people leave; and people hurt us. If we put all our value and purpose in these relationships we will never find true acceptance. However, the other side of this has been that God is everlasting and grace is also real.

God is everlasting. Grace is real.

No matter what happens in our earthly relationships we are loved by someone that will never walk away, no matter how ugly, sinful and angry we become, He remains strong and loving. Of all the people in my life I have given God the most reasons to hate me: deliberately disobeyed him, held anger in my heart and told him that I knew better when all he wanted was to give me peace. Yet God’s grace swoops in and changes all of that.

“Find myself here on my knees again, caught up in grace like an avalanche.” (Hillsong) I cannot even say how much these words have become a life raft in times of pain. I found myself brought to my knees by pain and in worship. Yet no matter why I am there, I am in his grace and my situation is no surprise to him. I deserve the worst possible pain and treatment from my father and yet he will never leave me.

As I continue into this summer with my eyes fixed on the fact that these changes have been for good I will remind myself of his unstoppable grace. It crushes any borders we put up and refuses to let us loose…may we learn that we never want to be.